Thursday, May 13, 2010

Chapters in life...



It is so hard to say goodbye. And why is it called goodbye? Really as someone once told me, there is nothing good about goodbyes. Scratch that, on rare occasions we are jumping for joy to say goodbye, maybe to a job we hated, or an arch enemy, but in reality, goodbyes are anything but good.

A friend moving away, to start a new chapter of their life and have a new beginning. Yet, as they go we feel left behind. Sometimes even forgotten. If we are not a part of each other’s everyday life anymore we have that fear creep in that we don’t matter anymore. And we find it hard to find the time to visit or even just stay in touch. Memories fill our minds, and we often wish we could go back.

Maybe it is a girlfriend or boyfriend that wants some “freedom”. There is certainly nothing good about that kind of goodbye. Why do we go through these cycles? Really what is freedom or finding yourself? It is an excuse. The pain that comes with realizing that that very special person in your life is gone and you don’t matter to them anymore. All we have to hold onto is the memory of the relationship. The memory of that person being next to you. You are the most important person on earth to them and in one moment it vanishes. As time passes and you may try to “win them back” you realize that they are not the same person you fell in love with. Or even someone you would be friends with anymore. But you hold onto hope. The hope that they might come around and realize what they left behind. The familiar. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

It is hard to see how short life really is… How much time we waste in the past and how much we invest on trying to protect ourselves from being hurt again.

You may be losing something that you thought you had. A marriage that will never be the same. A friendship that has been betrayed. That raise or promotion that was given to Joe Schmoe next to you.

It is hard to watch someone go through the pain. And the agony. You wish yoau could take it away. But part of experiencing life is to go through the goodbyes and come out stronger on the other side. Knowing that sometimes it does come back around. And friendships are not always lost. But sometimes we do have to move on no matter how painful it is.