Sometimes we need a little reminder...

This is my friend Lindsey. We met in 6th grade and have kept in touch through the wonders of Facebook. And that little man is Jackson. Lindsey posted her blog about being the momma. As I read her post, tears started to well up in my eyes. Sometimes we just need that reminder of what we are doing, why we are doing it and the fact that the hard times come and go, and we still make it through it.

My youngest is now 4. Hard to believe. Right before I wrote this I was fighting with her to take a much needed nap. As she was kicking and screaming in her bed, I thought, "wow, this is what being a mama is..." Lindsey's post was a blessing to me because, while she is in the honeymoon phase of being mama, she opened my eyes to the memories. I loved the days I held my girls and they would just cuddle with you. I think as a mama, we try to keep those memories locked up, so that on days like today, when it is rainy outside, and you have a person half your height screaming at you, you can remember that this will pass. I hope. You realize that you will become stupid much faster than you thought possible. You will become a great arguer. A puzzle solver to figure out what your kids were thinking, or even more what they weren't thinking. You will understand that sometimes being a mama means you may not always feel like doing something, but you do it anyways for your kiddos. And sometimes that smile plastered on your face may not be real, but you fake it for them. You realize that you are their greatest teacher. And they are your greatest teacher as well. There is no manual. Sure there are parenting books up the wazoo, but the only way you really learn is as you go. Sure, you are going to make mistakes, and parental guilt will wear you down. But you just have to do your best, take every opportunity to learn from situations. Know that there will be days that you accomplish more than you thought possible, and other days will slip by and you will wonder where they went. Laundry and housework will always be there. Your kiddos will challenge you. And you will do your best to raise responsible, kind, respectful, understanding, honest, loving little people.

Lindsey, thanks for that reminder to just take it all in, at every phase and cherish every moment.

Shhh.... Ahhh Listen, it's quiet.

It is naptime right now, or quiet time for my older one. One of my (and I am sure many mamas and daddys out there too) favorite times of the day. There are times I just completely crash at naptime with them. Then there are times I have so much to get done I hope they stay asleep a little longer. I just love sitting in the quiet. Some nights I stay up WAY too late because I am just enjoying the stillness of the house.

On my to do list today for naptime:
~ Laundry, don't we all love the never ending cycle?!
~ Figure out dinner plans so I am not running around like a chicken with my head cut off while the natives are getting restless. It isn't pretty.
~ Pick up the living room. Why does it always seem to be a mess? Is your house that way? My kids come through and leave things around as if they don't really notice that it is a war zone and boobie traps are lurking around every corner just waiting for an unsuspecting victim.
~ Cycle through the newspaper and school papers, so that those too don't try to take over the world. We could save so many trees if schools sent home less paper work.
~ Research replacement toys for the ones the dog has chewed up. :o(

Not a long list, but nonetheless a busy naptime for mama. Happy Saturday all! We have actually enjoyed just playing in the backyard today, and now the chaos begins. We will get up tomorrow and do it all over again.

A Cloudy Day...

Today it is cloudy outside. Now I am a California girl, not quite the Katy Perry type of “California Gurl.” But I do enjoy my dose of sunshine. This weather makes me feel that the inevitable is happening. The changing of the seasons. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the holidays. I love decorating for Halloween and staying inside while it is pouring down rain outside and baking banana bread, and then moving onto Thanksgiving (the holiday that most stores skip right over) and Christmas. It really is a magical time of year. When I was little, my mom (and my mom#2, or step-mom at their house) would decorate the entire house for whatever holiday was coming up. It didn’t matter if it was Valentine’s day, or Halloween, the decorations would come out. The house would be filled with them! Tastefully of course, not gaudy like the sweater your Aunt Suzie knitted you and expects to see every holiday season. I have come to realize that this is what made the traditions come to life for us as kids. The little things. My mom is not a baker, but give her a basket or present to put together and it will look like a million bucks. (Look out Donald Trump.) A lot about life is about traditions… We pass them along and make new ones along the way. So I am going to share Fall traditions from my childhood and one I am starting with my kiddos. When I was a kid we always got up really early one weekend morning and went to the pumpkin patch in Half Moon Bay to pick out our pumpkins. We saw the same Dracula year after year, and every year he still scared me. We would then find a fun-off-the-beaten-path-kinda place for breakfast. My dad would always take us to the Harvest Festival at our school. We would be all dressed up in our costumes, so excited to show them off. With my girls we have started going up to Apple Hill with my in-laws and getting apples to make apple sauce. Every year I break out my trusty food mill and strain the already pulverized apple pulp. The special moments in life are often shared in the quiet, or not so quiet of your own home. Feel free to post some of your own. It is fun to see what other people do and sometimes use it yourself. But imitation is the best form of flattery, right?

A New Chapter in Blogging...

I have decided to turn over a new leaf so to say and take it up a notch. Trying something new often scares us, like that man in the strange costume on Halloween. But you just have to take that leap sometimes, so here goes... I will attempt to share life's journey with you. Like a roller coaster of ups and downs, good days bad days, great dinners and nights you have to call for pizza because it's just that bad! So, I hope you sit back and enjoy the show! "Hang onto your hats and glasses cause this here's the wildest ride in the wilderness!"

Chapters in life...

It is so hard to say goodbye. And why is it called goodbye? Really as someone once told me, there is nothing good about goodbyes. Scratch that, on rare occasions we are jumping for joy to say goodbye, maybe to a job we hated, or an arch enemy, but in reality, goodbyes are anything but good.

A friend moving away, to start a new chapter of their life and have a new beginning. Yet, as they go we feel left behind. Sometimes even forgotten. If we are not a part of each other’s everyday life anymore we have that fear creep in that we don’t matter anymore. And we find it hard to find the time to visit or even just stay in touch. Memories fill our minds, and we often wish we could go back.

Maybe it is a girlfriend or boyfriend that wants some “freedom”. There is certainly nothing good about that kind of goodbye. Why do we go through these cycles? Really what is freedom or finding yourself? It is an excuse. The pain that comes with realizing that that very special person in your life is gone and you don’t matter to them anymore. All we have to hold onto is the memory of the relationship. The memory of that person being next to you. You are the most important person on earth to them and in one moment it vanishes. As time passes and you may try to “win them back” you realize that they are not the same person you fell in love with. Or even someone you would be friends with anymore. But you hold onto hope. The hope that they might come around and realize what they left behind. The familiar. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

It is hard to see how short life really is… How much time we waste in the past and how much we invest on trying to protect ourselves from being hurt again.

You may be losing something that you thought you had. A marriage that will never be the same. A friendship that has been betrayed. That raise or promotion that was given to Joe Schmoe next to you.

It is hard to watch someone go through the pain. And the agony. You wish yoau could take it away. But part of experiencing life is to go through the goodbyes and come out stronger on the other side. Knowing that sometimes it does come back around. And friendships are not always lost. But sometimes we do have to move on no matter how painful it is.

Sugar is the enemy! Man your battle stations!

I have had several people ask about my recent weight loss and what I did…So here goes:

I have to say my weight has been a constant issue in my life. I have been on numerous “diets.” And I have come down on numerous occasions, but I tended to gain all the weight back and then some. So, my journey started months before I started. I was always seeking answers to my health issues. I asked friends who had studied what to eat. I researched it myself and it always came back to a few specific things.

First, it has to be a lifestyle change. NOT a diet. I knew that a diet was a temporary fix and that is probably why I gained it all back. Second, sugar is the ENEMY! (And as I call it , fluffy flour.) But not like the “Atkins”type diets. I had been down that path before and it didn’t work out so well for me. And let me tell you I LOVE bread and pasta. So how was I going to let those go?! Third, You have to be ready to give up and surrender to what your body is telling you. Fourth, everything in moderation. Fifth, exercise is an important role in our general health. (But let me let you in on a little secret…I didn’t exercise during the majority of my weight loss. SHHHHH!) I am a big believer in getting out there and getting moving, but for some reason, every time I have put the two together ( diet & exercise) I don’t seem to lose. I am now running and training for another race, let me tell you it is so much easier to move my body now. Sixth, it is easier to attempt this if you are doing it with someone close to you. My hubby joined me in my quest to shed pounds and get healthier. Seventh, if it is not good for you just don’t bring it in the house! RUN in the other direction! If it is there, you WILL eat it! I know I do.

I really had to come to a point that I was ready to change and not be the chunky girl anymore. I had to be ready to give up my beloved sugar and carbs. I had been in denial long enough that I could get rid of “Moe and Joe” as I had named them (my muffin top) without giving up sugar. So, the key was making sure I was not hungry. I can remember trying Weight Watchers, and STARVING! I don’t play nicely with others when I am hungry. I know that protein lasts the longest in your body for keeping you full. So, I bumped up my protein. I did protein shakes, protein bars, lean meat, ect. I do not eat soy protein, it is not the best for you as it acts like estrogen in your system, and really, I don’t need any extra hormones in my body. I still eat bread. There, I said it. But, not the average American fluff that we are all used to. I eat sprouted wheat, flourless bread. Which actually has quite a bit of protein in it. ;o) I love fruit, and on the “Atkins” type diets, they say no fruit too. I couldn’t do that. So, the only sugar I allowed myself in the beginning was fruit. I can remember one day I was getting the girls a snack of goldfish crackers. I popped a couple in my mouth, as I usually did then I stopped! I spit them out, wondering what I was doing?! Just habit. It is hard to teach yourself a new way of eating. In the beginning I remember thinking what am I going to eat?! I felt restricted, but really I think we only restrict ourselves. I have found many snacks to eat that I wouldn’t otherwise think of. Almonds, hummus and whole wheat crackers (be careful, they sneak the bad fluffy stuff in there and just call it whole wheat to trick you into buying it. I like Akmak crackers.) Crunchy Curls from Trader Joes (they are potato & lentil) I know I said potato. I didn’t get rid of ALL carbs, just the unnatural, have to enrich because they took out all of the good stuff kind of carbs. I still eat rice, although I prefer brown rice. I think it tastes better and it is better for the carb situation. I basically ask myself, How fast is my body going to process this, will it make my blood sugar sky rocket? If it is, I don’t want it, because in the long run I will just be hungrier and want to eat bad things. I try to listen to my tummy. If I am hungry I eat. Even if it is a little snack. That way I won’t be STARVING and want to eat EVERYTHING in sight. I always try to carry a protein bar in my purse or glovebox for just an occasion. I also allowed myself a “day off” here and there. If I didn’t I would have been tempted to eat the bad things mixed in with the good. If you give yourself that lenience and then jump right back on the horse, then you don’t feel deprived. I have to deal with this day in and day out. It is not easy, a battle sometimes, but if I just keep chipping away, then I don’t feel overwhelmed. And really, when people look at me and tell me I look great and I am “wasting away”, it empowers me to keep going. When I am fitting into sizes I can’t remember fitting into, it helps me to keep on top of it. Like I said, I am not perfect, some days are better than others in my food choices, and let’s face it, sometimes it is a cookie kind of day. But I stopped using excuses, like “I deserve this giganto-bowl of ice cream, it has been a hard day with my girls.” Really?! Deserve?! Just an excuse and unwarranted justifications. I love ice cream, but remember when I said everything in moderation? That is right! Just a little. Or I would rather opt for Fro Yo, but just a little. :o) (Love Yogurtland!) Like, I said, if I am going to be tempted to eat something bad, I just don’t allow it in our house. If it isn’t there, I won’t eat it. My mother in law came to visit recently and commented on how we didn’t have anything “good” in our house to eat. I KNOW!! That is because if it is there, I will consume it.

Really it is all about what works for you. This is what has worked for me. I have lost 23 pounds and have kept it off. Taking me down to a size I used to be pre-kiddos. Sure I flex about 2 pounds up and down. But I am ok with that. I am now hoping to tone up my body now with running. You have to stop with the excuses, and bite the bullet. Make the hard choice and give up something that you love if it is not good for you. I hardly ever eat the “fluff” anymore, or the real sugar, it makes me feel sick. Good luck on your journey, I would love for you to share your journey as well! Let me know if you have any other questions.

Protein bars I love: Think Thin- Crunchy Peanut Butter: 0g Sugar 20g Protein
Builder Bars-Peanut Butter: 20g Natural Sugar 20g Protein

Protein Shakes I love: Premium Pro-Rated by Wellements-Chocolate (I have not tried Vanilla) you can get this one at Costco! (Sometimes I mix it with a little 1% milk, ice, banana and T. of Peanut Butter in the blender, YUM just like a milkshake! 2g Sugar 25g Protein (thanks Esther for the pointer on this one)

Sugar Substitute I love: Somersweet- made from mung beans! You can order it online from Suzanne Somers. Tastes much better than even Splenda, I think.

You can do it!