Making Soup....

I was just reading a blog I check from time to time, Mom 4 life. I was thinking about Heather's faith, how much she is leaning on God right now. You see she lost her son weeks before he was due. It is crazy for me to fathom the pain that has caused her, but really we all experience pain from time to time, and yet God is right there with us. He too has experienced pain. He knows. He gave up His son. Heather wrote about a book that she had read called Tear Soup. Putting all of our grief into the soup, I think that is real with so many situations in life. We need to pour out our hurts, people will come and go and be a support, yet through it all, love remains.

I am thinking through all of this as I try desperately to get a hold of my depression. I cannot explain it, if you have ever been there, you know. Really I am thinking it is some sort of chemical/hormonal imbalance. I feel like somedays I am making soup for really no reason. There is no real rhyme or reason, for me feeling this way. Sure we all endure hard times in our lives, but we are all blessed. Really, though I am not sure how my day will be until I start it. Will I be ok? Will I feel like doing nothing but sit on the couch, or be in such a bad mood for no reason. I feel like I am floating above my body trying to tell myself to get a grip. I am tired of pretending everything is ok. I am tired of it taking over my life and my family's life because mama is not ok today. Yet tomorrow is a new day. I keep praying for God to give me direction for healing. I know He will help me through this.