I MADE IT!!!!!

I trained, I sweated, I ran, I hurt, I finished...

On Sunday, I ran the Santa Cruz 10k! I made it....finished at 1:05.29. Not too bad for my first race. Coming down the last hill, I felt like I could fly...then we hit the sand at the finish line and came to an abrupt halt. People keep asking if I feel like I have accomplished something...I am not sure to be honest. I feel like there was a lot of build up, and now it is over. I feel like I want to get out there and run more. Does that make me a runner? Not sure I would consider myself that, but I guess I am. They told me to take this week off, but I feel weird NOT running. I guess that says it in itself. I keep thinking of the next race I could be training for, how can I increase my stamina and speed and how can I get rid of these darn blisters? Is is weird to feel kind of let down? I guess not, maybe I have just been bitten by the bug...Amy would be proud ;o)

Accomplishing the impossible, or is it improbable?

I am NOT a runner... Yet today I ran a 10k! I cannot believe it. We are training for the Santa Cruz 10k on April 19. So, today I ran 6.2 miles in preparation for the real thing in just a few weeks. We have come so far, from claiming to not being runners, wondering what in the world have we gotten ourselves into, starting out at one mile and barely making it, to feeling like 4 miles is normal and the extra push to 6 miles is indeed possible. It is painful, hard to breath, yet so satisfying when you are done and you look at what you have accomplished! It was a beautiful morning to run, almost as if God, had planned it to be a triumphant day. We even saw turkeys on the side of the path! Really when we started out, I was looking for something to jump start my exercise routine after the holidays. Now, I am not sure I would say I enjoy it, but I enjoy the feeling afterwards. My hubby has been very supportive and even running with me sometimes. So next time a task seems impossible, think again and take it one step at a time.

Ps. Happy Birthday Emily! :o)

Life is fragile...

It is crazy for me to contemplate how fragile life really is... The Oakland PD shootings have hit a little hard in my home. Four men, just going off to work, protecting the citizens of that city only to lose their lives. Who could have predicted that this would be their last day here on this place we call earth. We are believers in, when it is your time to go, you will go, whether you are crossing the street or protecting people's lives. There have been several "tragedies" that have been around us. Not directly effecting us, but still a little close to home. A friend of ours was just diagnosed with cancer, a very aggressive, rare form. He is in his 30s and has 2 little ones. My cousin just told me about her husband's cousin...who at 34 passed away. He collapsed while playing basketball with friends and they have 4 kids. A blogger I read about is battling for her 4 month old son's life with prayer.

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain they are going through right now... the sense of loss, the sense of uncertainty. Yet there is a bigger power out there to cling to... not sure why things are happening or why this way, or when things will get better or IF things will get better. All we can do is pray. Hold onto the ones you love, don't take them for granted. I remember giving this same speech in High School to my Senior class. One of my close friends had just been in a severe car accident and almost lost his life...God was not done with him in this life. The situation taught me that life is fragile, you never know what is around the corner. And at 18 you think you know it all. Thank goodness we don't! A little older a little wiser... a little closer to my Papa above. I know He takes the bad and uses it for His good, we just might not see the whole picture yet...

Lazy or drained...

I thought it had been a little while since I have posted and really it is because I sometimes feel overwhelmed. Really, I think that my day is not too complicated and each one seems to run into the next. I guess that is how it is with little ones. I don't seem to get things done that I need to and really the only thing keeping me from that is myself. I get a little lazy sometimes and I feel drained sometimes. I am pulled on, teaching, talking to, listening to, cleaning up after a toddler and a first grader. Why can't I keep it together? Am I the only one that feels like the balls are in the air all the time? I would rather spend time out and about than doing things at home. I guess I just need to find that balance. I have a friend that inspires me every time I go to see her. She is a type A, get everything done, has time to make things for people...really not the lazy type. I wonder how she has the energy to do it all. I asked her once, "don't you just want to collapse?" She assurred me that she does at the end of the night. Which can sometimes be 1 or 2 am just because she is "getting things done." Her house is always neat and clean and laundry does not overwhelm her like it does me. So why can't I get it together? Who knows! I try and I have good intentions. I would love to get it together enough that i could invite someone in on the fly, not cringing that my house is a mess...

My funny valentine....

I have been sitting here with little Maddy Moo, doing Valentines for her class. When I mentioned it to my dad earlier today, he, ironically enough had the same memories that I had about my own. You have to peel them apart, trying not to rip them. Then I used to scout out hidden meanings and try to give them to certain people. Some were for the people that you really didn't like, but had to give them one anyways. Then there were the ones you had a crush on and hoped that they would read into the card you had chosen for them and the feeling would be mutual. Really, did it ever happen that way? I can remember getting a LARGE box of chocolate from my boyfriend in elementary school. I had to have been in 3rd or 4th grade. (The thought of Maddy having a boyfriend at that age scares me!) I hid the box in my closet, not wanting my dad to question who it was from. Now, being married for 7 plus years, I wonder what my hubby will do, if anything... I am not being bitter, just real. Unfortunately life gets in the way, kids, time, money and bam, Valentines day gets thrown in there. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised... Maybe I will get that cute card with a hidden message of true love.

Consuming thoughts...

Do you ever have thoughts that just try to consume your every thought, every move, every piece of your being? Does your mind ever play tricks on you? Do you try to let go and yet around and around you go...a vicious cycle. Like the ominous cloud hanging over you. You try to let go of things, forgiving does not mean you necessarily forget. You try to give it up to the One above, letting Him take over for you and yet all the while still wondering why the thoughts won't leave you... your worries, your fears, your hurts, your frustrations. Peace, just a moment of serenity is what you want. The loudness of the world humming around you makes it hard to find that balance of letting go and just being still.

Take a breath. Close your eyes. Let it go.

Really, how is it helping you to hold onto this thought cycle? It is not. He will take it on for you...