Hello up there....

This is how I often think of Maddy. Up in the air, not a care in the world. She often lives in Maddyland as we call it. Remember the soccer incident, picking flowers and plying in the dirt in the middle of the game... Well, we had our parent/teacher conference this week, she is doing exceedingly well, except when it comes to doing the work instead of socializing or, playing. She got the highest score in her class on a 100 word spelling test they had, she got 98 right! That is awesome! However she will procrastinate getting her work done until the last minute. And she turns it in right and does great work, but she waits and talks and plays and distracts the others from getting their work done. I give pep talks, try to reward or bribe her into focusing on her work. She told her teacher the other morning that she was going to work hard that day and not talk. Well, she talked a LOT that day. What to do, what to do? I have a feeling we will get this comment every year on her report card. "Sweet girl to have in class, concerned about others, talks too much!" I am torn, do we not worry about her social disturbances or do we try to buckle down even more. I wonder what her possibilities could be if she focused a bit more... Maybe Maddyland is a better place to be.

Today I voted. Sometimes feeling like my vote doesn't really count. I know in the long run God is in control of this crazy world we live in.

I am ready for today to be over to be honest. Politics can be a touchy subject with friends and family if you don't agree. I feel like it shouldn't be. Why can't we state our standings or beliefs without being criticized for it. I know we all have different views, and sometimes the same views. Why are we supposed to be tolerant when others are not tolerant of our beliefs? Reading Love Well today was very uplifting... a little reminder of what a great country we do live in. Even in our state of despair, we are a great nation!

So get out and vote, it does matter. (Lee Greenwood's Proud to be an American, playing in the background)

A few questions I have been pondering...

I have been thinking about a few questions that float around in my head... I thought I would write them out. This is where prayer comes in, ask and He will give some answers, not always what we want to hear, but for a bigger plan than just me.

Am I being a good example of love to my kids, friends, husband, family....

How could I handle situations differently?

Am I supposed to have another baby... am I done having kids?

Could I handle having another child to care for?

Will my business grow?

Will this medication help?

Will we ever be out of debt?

Will my kids respect me when they are older or rebel?

Will they love Jesus?

Why do I get so burnt out?

How can I control my pms?

Why is Facebook so addicting?

How can I be motivated to get things done around the house?

And many more... these are just a few rolling around in my thoughts.

Maybe the dirt pile is a little more interesting....

Today in Maddy's soccer game, the dirt pile was a little more interesting than the game. Right in the middle of the field there was a little dirt patch and Maddy found it. I was bummed that she was not paying attention to the ball going by her and her coach was very patient with her. He kept telling her to get up and help the other girls out.

Today was a great reminder to me that she is still so little. One friend of mine reminded me that group type sports at this age are hard for them. And another friend reminded me that Maddy is just happy to be a part of the team and have new friends. Every once in awhile we need reminders like this. She really has only been on this earth for 6 years now... sometimes I guess our expectations are not realistic and get in the way.

Making Soup....

I was just reading a blog I check from time to time, Mom 4 life. I was thinking about Heather's faith, how much she is leaning on God right now. You see she lost her son weeks before he was due. It is crazy for me to fathom the pain that has caused her, but really we all experience pain from time to time, and yet God is right there with us. He too has experienced pain. He knows. He gave up His son. Heather wrote about a book that she had read called Tear Soup. Putting all of our grief into the soup, I think that is real with so many situations in life. We need to pour out our hurts, people will come and go and be a support, yet through it all, love remains.

I am thinking through all of this as I try desperately to get a hold of my depression. I cannot explain it, if you have ever been there, you know. Really I am thinking it is some sort of chemical/hormonal imbalance. I feel like somedays I am making soup for really no reason. There is no real rhyme or reason, for me feeling this way. Sure we all endure hard times in our lives, but we are all blessed. Really, though I am not sure how my day will be until I start it. Will I be ok? Will I feel like doing nothing but sit on the couch, or be in such a bad mood for no reason. I feel like I am floating above my body trying to tell myself to get a grip. I am tired of pretending everything is ok. I am tired of it taking over my life and my family's life because mama is not ok today. Yet tomorrow is a new day. I keep praying for God to give me direction for healing. I know He will help me through this.

The Life of a Frog...

So, Maddy brought home a book to read from school. It was the life of a frog. She had to draw a picture and write something about the book. Now granted the book was about the frog's life. The start of it, the camouflaging, the mating and the death. Oh and how this one frog grows skin over itself to survive in the desert and then when he is done hiding, he rips the skin over his head with his little hand and then proceeds to eat the extra skin. And if you were curious, the Aborigines drink water from the frog if they find one and they are stuck in the desert themselves by slicing one open! Now didn't we all need to know that, because, oh, we are all in FIRST grade.

What is that? It only gets better. If you read further you will find MATING frogs. I am not comfortable talking to my first grader about MATING! Some of you might be, but not me! So Maddy told her teacher that her family didn't like the book, her response was, well you don't have to like it, you just have to read it. WHAT! Am I paying her salary? I know I can't think that way, poor Brian gets that excuse enough. But really, that is how you respond? Ok, so now as Mama bear what do I do? I am obviously going to talk with her, but not sure what to say...

WHATEVER!

Ok, so Maddy my wonderful 6 year old, first grader that I was just bragging about in my last post, didn't like what I was saying to her today and said whatever to me. I got an eye roll and everything! I called my mom for advice, she talked me down and I calmed down. Really, How would you handle something like this? I can see why some people home school. The attitude and exhaustion she has is just making me stronger. Because what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!

My first grader is doing great!

Maddy is LOVING her class. And as for me I am LOVING her class too. I have definitely found a little niche with the other moms and I absolutely love her teacher, well so far. Maddy has gotten over the gitters and the Mom I think I am going to throw ups. Thank goodness. I was not sure how much longer I could put up with it. A friend of mine was pointing out I might want to have a little more compassion. I guess I was little once too and nervous. Who Me?

This was the first week of homework, why do they do that? The first week of homework was a short one, brutal! Not as much time to complete the work and the FIRST week to hand it out? We still have one sheet to do and it is due tomorrow. I am hoping we get into a rhythm and work it out.

She is also exhausted, but having a hard time going to sleep. I put her to bed around 7:30, because no matter what time she goes to bed when the rooster is up so is she. I was like that. I can remember doing Mousercize (Mickey lead aerobics) at 6:00am on the weekends... I know what a nerd I was.

The attitude is killing me right now with her. I have so much fun with her sometimes and other times, she argues, sasses me, treats me like I am dirt. And that is just the short of it. I try not to take it personally, but easier said than done. Especially if you know me, I am an emotional person anyways, this just fuels the fire. I am hoping this faze fades soon. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger...

An average day.....

I am at the beach this week with a life-long friend and my family. I am enjoying the beautiful scenery that God has painted around us. The hustle and bustle of all 3 of our children...6, 23 mos. and 20 mos. I have thought in that last week after seeing another friend of ours and her brand new baby what having three would be like... Do we want to cross that bridge, be out numbered, have another little person add to the stress. Then I think of what a blessing my girls are, but three really?

As I sit here, I was just reading Mck Mama's Blog posting and practically in tears I sit and think about her struggles and turmoil her family is going through. I have always thought of her as a mama to look up to. She has three little people to care for (the oldest is 3 years the youngest 9 mos.), they don't have TVs in their house, she believes in all that is natural and she loves Jesus with her whole heart. Her faith is an example to all mamas out there. As I sit here being average myself. I am not sure if I could handle what she is going through with the little one inside her fighting to live here on this earth as we know it. Somehow, my stresses seem pretty trivial.

Am I missing something?

So many times in life I feel like I am missing a piece of the puzzle. If I could only find out other people's secrets to being a mom or a wife... I feel like I am fried every day. I don't get it. Am I missing something? How do you handle it? Me, I tend to get frustrated and yell. Not a proud attribute by any means. I look around at other moms and I wonder how do they do it? I wonder if they yell, or if they have better control of their emotions. How so they handle the many questions from their little ones? Mine just tend to fight, or talk or scream themselves all day long.
I was sitting behind a friend in church on Sunday and thought "I wonder how her mom disiplined them." She is one of many brothers and sisters and all of them love God and are upstanding citizens, if not above and beyond the average do gooder. How did her mom handle it when she was fried? I feel like I am stuck in a pit sometimes, trying desperately to get out, but I am trapped. Why do I feel numb? I really have nothing left and the end of the day is nowhere in sight, at least it feels that way. I keep praying, for strength, grace, we all know what happens when we pray for patience... I guess I just feel like I am lost, that I somehow missed that chapter in the book of life. Does anyone know what chapter I missed?

Today was a coffee morning...

So, I try with all that is in me to resist my morning cup of coffee. I became addicted when my mom and step dad were visiting. I used to be able to have coffee on social occasions, then I HAD to have it every day to function. This morning was one of those mornings. We have been enjoying summer, but it has caught up with me. I guess I cannot let my little one roam around the house, hoping her older sister will feed her, can I? SO, therefore, I look for my caffinated beverage, needing the help to wake up!

Back from SoCal and on to VBS...

We had a blast in SoCal! It went by very quickly, I guess that is what happens with 5days of travel, family and two little girls. I heard, "Are we there yet," on several occasions. We got home, and then we went straight into VBS week at church. We are soooo tired, and yet we had soooo much fun. I got to act like a crazy lady! Which I am so sure that is exactly what the kids thought of me. With a bootcamp, "Lord's Army" theme, we marched, we shouted, we played, we danced and sang! And we even learned. Things I am sure they do not do at bootcamp, except for the marching, shouting, and learning part.

We are going here tomorrow...

I can't wait to take the girls. Granted this is not their first time, but it is so magical to see it through their eyes.

The LAST week of school and this has become our friend...

This is awful! So far we have passed the flu from Reagan to Brian. Since I sleep with both of them and I am taking care of both of them, all I can do is pray and wash my hands a LOT! I am hoping I don't get this. It is not pretty. Little Reagan is finally on the mend, but it seems fierce. Brian called in sick today, and has been frequenting our friend above. We don't have time for this. Maddy is graduating from Kindergarten on Thursday and Monday we leave for the Happiest Place on Earth! Say a little prayer for the Warren Family if you think of us!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

OH My goodness gracious!

Thank goodness the party is over. Don't get me wrong, as I said before, I love planning and coming up with ideas for my girls' parties. But let me tell you. I am so thankful this one is over. I learned from this party. Which is good I think.

One. DON'T invite 20 something little kids to your own house if you don't have a yard and you live in a 3 story townhouse. They will run up and down the stairs tirelessly (is that a word?) and scream and laugh and chase each other all at the same time.

Two. Paying someone else to do your party ie: Pump It Up, My Gym, The Jungle ect. is NOT overrated. Really you spend the same amount and then you have a fraction of the head ache and get to enjoy yourself instead of running yourself and your family ragged.

Three. It takes a village.

Four. If your daughter is kind and friendly with everyone, you may only get one or two no's in your RSVP's. So invite wisely.

Five. It will take several days to return your home to order once the festivities are over. And that is just after you worked your buns off cleaning your house, so they could trash it. Thank goodness I didn't wash the floor before the party. Oops, did I say that out loud? Really my grandmother used to say, wash it afterwards, No one is going to look at your floor and they are just going to get it dirty.

Six. go with your gut. See that cute cupcake. Really I wanted to just pick up a cake, but we ventured out and tried to make these. They turned out cute and the parents thought they were cute. But the man hours that went into those babies, man those are some expensive cupcakes! Not worth the stress of it all. Costco here we come for 2009!

Seven. If the kids rave to their parents and they leave exhausted your party was a success!

Attack, Who would have thought...

We just found out the hard way that Reagan is allergic to Strawberries. I thought she might have had a reaction in her diaper, if you know what I mean. And I didn't think anything of it. Now, the poor little thing broke out in hives all over her belly. Benedryl is working to my advantage today. Trying to get house work done just got a little easier.

It is swim suit season, what's a girl to do?

Really, why is it sooooo difficult to find a swim suit? Is is rocket science. I think they have it out for us and our body images. I went online because a friend of mine found a really cute suit at Lands End. Do you think they had anything in my size? NO! Nothing that matched at least. I could win the most hideous combination award, I guess. Don't pink and blue go together? Oh, well. The search continues...

Oh happy May!

May is the month of birthdays and events for our family. Lots o-yummy cake. And from the best Bakery ever~ Icing on the Cake! Those cupcakes are from Icing on the Cake.

We have Brian, my cute hubby on the 7th.

My brother Jeremy on the 10th.

Mama's Day, who could forget.(I know, I know it's not a birthday, but a holiday worth mentioning!)

Maddy Moo on the 26th. She is going to be 6!

My Mama (Wendy) on the 31st. And she would kill me if I shared her age on my blog, so we will leave it unsaid.

So, May is a busy month for us.

Maddy's party is going to be a Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friend's Pajama Party. It should be fun (I love planning the girls' parties, one of the fun parts of being a Mama.)And we are crazy enough to have it at our house this year. I am going to serve breakfasty food and let the kids decorate sleep shirts to take home. It should be a blast.

And throw in a shift change for Brian (hopefully for the better) and we have a full month. In June Maddy graduates from Kindergarten. I can't believe it.

I finally WON SOMETHING!

One of my favorite radio stations 106.5 had a contest for what they call their "after work mixers." A very small concert held at a restaurant, Bella Mia, downtown for any locals. I entered to win tickets to see Ingrid Michaelson. You probably know her from the "Sweater" song from the Old Navy commercial. Or her song Keep Breathing from the Grey's Anatomy season finale last season. There are a few of her songs on this blog. Well, I WON! I didn't think I would win when I entered my name into the contest. And then out of nowhere, I got a call to come to Bella Mia and see Ingrid Michaelson. Maybe I am just getting older, but that was really a way to see a concert. There were about 40-50 people and it was just her, a keyboard, her back-up singer and a guitar. It was great. Obviously that is Me with Ingrid Michaelson. Her album sounds great and the really great thing was she sounds just as real in person as she does on the radio. If you want to see part of her performance from that night you can check it out on
You Tube...

I learned a very valuable lesson this weekend...

Let me tell you. E.coli is NOT our friend!!!!

We went to a petting farm this weekend. I thought is was a great activity for my girls. And they had a blast. ( Another post on the petting farm later.) They were able to hold little gosslings, feed baby goats after they milked the mama, hold baby lops bunnies, feeding chickens. It was any city kids dream experience of a farm, just enough to make you feel like you are really there. And then the other part of feeling like you were really there; the hugging-the-toilet-for-half-the- night-kinda-feeling.

I apparently did not wash little Reagan's hands well enough. The Purell failed me that day. And after the farm we had lunch. Of course she likes to share with Mama, so this is how it was passed onto me. Poor little Reagan has had pretty awful diapers, the first night there were 5 in 4 hours! Now, please don't miss understand, I am a washing the hands kinda mama. Purell carrying, wash your hands when you get home to wash off the germs kinda mama. But for some reason I thought she was covered with the Purell, silly mama! I will never assume that one again. So please if you are ever at a petting farm, WASH YOUR HANDS! You have been warned.

The Game of ... Life, yield ahead.

I have to say the game of life is interesting. Did mine turn out the way I thought? No. To say the least. There have been many turns and twists for that matter. Yet I am thankful for each day. When the day is rough with the girls, I need to remember that they are healthy and energetic. Happy too! (at least I would like to think they are) When the road is a little bumpy, I know that I have my best friend and the One above in the seat next to me and we will get through whatever lies ahead. Throw an unexpected baby, new jobs, new homes (at least to us we have moved 4 times in 6 years), another baby, a new career( for both of us for that matter), preschool then kindergarten, new friends, old friends ( old friends made new again!), family, nephews and nieces, new shoes, old shoes you still try to fit into even after two babies, new clothes you buy for the kids because they now come first, realizing your body really will never be the same ( and being ok with it, because it can only get better), vacations and the fun memories you make along the way, hard times, good times, times when you laugh so hard you cry, & true felt, unconditional love. It makes for a much more interesting plot than many books out there. And that is just my adult life, the begining of my game is a whole different post.

Just remember to take in every moment, as it comes. It may be painful, sometimes disappointing, it may be joyous, or unexpected, but through it all we only get one chance at this game we call life. Play to the fullest!

Happy Birthday to you.....

I just wanted to give a Happy Birthday shout out to a couple of people near and dear to us. This is begining the season of birthdays for us. So, Happy Birthday friends and family. If I forget anyone, please forgive me.

Happy Birthday:

Emily

Auntie Jenny

Daniel

Luke &

My Daddy

Many more to come in May and who could forget the most important holiday of the year.... Mother's Day! Hug your mama and tell her how much you love her. It doesn't have to be Mother's Day you know!

Our Family trip to Colorado

Grand Junction, Co. We just got back, well it feels like we just got back. We went out to visit Brian's grandparents (85 & 87) . It is a full day to get there and a full day to get back. We had a wonderful time. I love to travel and see how other people live beyond my bubble of CA. Let me tell you, some people looked just like someone I might see here, others, not so much.

Harry and Maxine (the grandparents) were troopers! they were so hospitable and brave to have us invade them. We were able to see the Colorado Monument. Now, I thought it was a rock you drove out to see, nope. It is a bunch of rocks you drive out to see. It was beautiful. Although the ride was so calm, I kept dosing in the back seat.

The second day we went to see a car museum. I was a bit skeptical at first. Allright, I didn't have a good attitude at all. We did have to drive an hour and a half on a curvy mountainous road ( are there any other kind in CO?) to the middle of nowhere. Aka: Gateway. It was an awesome car museum, check it out HERE. I wish poor Brian had my brother or a friend to really enjoy it with. I mean we are great company and all, but really... I also wish it was not in the middle of Nowhere, CO. It was beautiful and if you ever get the chance, go. The restaurant out there was great too. I had what I later found out was a bison burger. I thought that was just the name, and I thought it tasted a bit gamey.

The girls did great on the trip. The wonderful DVD player helped with that. And Grandma had gotten them a few toys to play with and the dolls, Maddy was in heaven. And so was Reagan with her beebee.

I was also able to finally experience Chick-fil-a. I had been craving something I had never tasted after reading Kelly's blog on it. Even Maddy was excited to go! (Of couse after hearing mommy talk about it who wouldn't want to go?) I do have to say it was awesome. The shakes don't even compare anywhere else. I did not try the sweet tea as the-rest-of-the-country-except-California-calls it. I didn't want to be up all night from the caffeine. As it was poor Reagan is teething again, I don't think it ever ends. The being up because she can't get comfy, the runny nose that goes on forever, the bad, bad diapers! Poor little one!

The trip home seemed longer than the trip out there. (We had to fly into Salt Lake City and drive about 5 hours! And then back to get home.) But we made it and are glad to be starting school again tomorrow. Hallelujah!

I will post more Pics later. No, I did not take the one up top.

Rice in your hair?

My little one, Reagan just turned 18 mos. She is a stinker, let me tell you! Seriously her nickname has been "Stink" since she was very little. And she answers to it, so that shows you how often we call her "Stink." We even made her a skunk for Halloween. She is an expert at throwing fits, crying (more like screaming) loudly, and turning it off at the drop of a hat if mommy says something like, "do you want me to pick you up, then stop crying" and BOOM she stops and sticks her little lip out with a sigh. How can they be sooooo cute and yet, such Stinkers? I think the cuteness is God's way of having us fall in love with them and then comes the punch. The toddler stage. Really is there a terrible twos? NO, it starts in toddlerhood and then they don't grow out of it until they are 5! And no one tells you that the 3s and 4s are just as bad if not worse! I think more seasoned parents don't want to scare the new ones.

Well let me scare you. Maddy at 4 stood on the front porch at our old place ( a condo inside a complex) and started yelling at the top of her lungs NO MAMA! I swear that voice was not her own. And granted Maddy was an easy baby. I have no clue what this new little person will bring. I am not thinking it is going to be pretty. so, last night at dinner she thought rice would be a great conditioner. I didn't want to burst her bubble so I left it there. Kids are definitely a humbling experience!

One word for you...

Oh my goodness. I went to a Zumba class last night with a friend of mine. We both left utterly exhausted!!!! I am not sure how I was able to drive home. For some of you who do not know what Zumba is, it is Latin dancing and aerobics mixed into one. We had a blast. You can really get into it, and make a complete fool out of yourself and everyone else is making a fool out of themselves too. And we all had fun while doing it.We went to ISK-XFC to take our class. Our instructor was crazy! He made Denise Austin look like your grandma, he kept us going the whole time. I was tired after the first 15 min. warm up. The lady behind me said, just think we have another hour to go! I thought I was going to die.

This morning I told Brian that my muscles didn't hurt in one specific area, I just felt like I had been hit by a truck and tossed on the side of the road. After describing all this abuse to you, I can't wait to go again next Tuesday evening. It was exercise that I actually had fun and enjoyed doing. Who would have ever thought those words would ever come out of my mouth (or keyboard)?

Will the bunny deliver the perfect Easter Dress?

Having two little girls I am on the hunt for the perfect Easter dresses for them. I know a little obsessive. But really Easter is only 3 weeks away, what is a mom to do? Now, I found The One I fell in love with and I could get matching dresses! However, I would have to take out a loan to do so! Brian is a cop, not a stock broker! Therefore, unless Gymboree has a sale in the next three weeks, I am still on the hunt.

Why is it so complicated? With boys I guess the pickins are slim, so you just go with the cute sweater or sweater vest ('cause that's what I would choose, if we had a boy. And NO that is not a hint!) and the cute little Khakis. Maybe some loafers and boom, you are set. My friend Emily just got her little guy an outfit the other day, so simple she had everything picked out in a matter of minutes. No froo froo lace, now don't get me wrong. I am a girly girl, and I would love to have our girls match or at least coordinate. Maybe that is the issue. I am too involved. But my friends I cannot help it, and God blessed me with two little dolls to dress up. So the bargain hunt continues. Wish me luck. And if you hear of any great deals let me know. I will cross my fingers and hope for the sale at Gymboree.

There aren't ninjas on blogs....

Don't you feel like men have PMS too? My very loveable, makes-me-laugh-all-the-time husband has PMS.

I am not kidding.

He is craving burritos from this Taqueria that was dangerous to introduce him to. He has been grumpy. And he is complaining about things that we really have no control over, he is just loving to complain right now.

All this being said, it makes for a very interesting day that we have together. I was praying for him this morning, that he would get a grip on himself. I am sure he prays this very same prayer about yours truley! I am trying to steer clear right now, he is happy as a clam watching Ninja Warrior. Maybe some ice cream and french fries would help, both of us!

Why is Elementary school just like High school for the Moms?

OK, so I have been feeling like I am back in High school with the moms at Maddy's school. And let me tell you I was not one of the popular kids in high school. I was one of the "theatre geeks" that people knew and were somewhat nice to, but never really a part of any groups. This comes to say I could probably count on one hand how many friends I actually had outside of the theatre.

So, when I go to pick her up and I am standing there next to some of them, it is almost as if I am invisible. Not quite sure why.... I hear them setting up play dates with each other, and I wonder why Maddy is not included? She plays with their kids at recess. I have even had a mom or two comment on how loving and caring Maddy is. So then why do I take it so personally? I don't know. I don't want her to feel like I did, the awkward kid that stands there, hoping to be included. But really, she doesn't experience the disappointment that I do, she is in MaddyLand. She is so carefree and oblivious. Maybe that is not such a bad trait. And maybe I could learn from my 5 year old. Maybe I am the one who wants to be included...

I'm a little new around here.....

I just thought I might start my own blog. My husband will most likely think I am crazy, and he is probably right. I have been reading so many inspiring stories online, OK I am addicted to reading blogs. But as addictions go, I guess this is a safe one. I don't know if I even have anything really inspiring to say, but I thought I would give it a shot. So bear with me. I am a little new around here.